Life with young children is noisy. Today was particularly so. My spirit felt cluttered and cranky. My apartment was messy and it took all afternoon and evening to bring any amount of order or calm to it. Now, with Lili'u in bed and Chris out, I have a moment of quiet to myself.

I'm reading The Tao of Motherhood by Vimala McClure. She writes, "Can you find the silence within the noise? Can you feel the peace within the turmoil? If not, withdraw. Make time to turn inward and digest your life."

Digest my life. That's what I need. (Deep breath.)

McClure goes on, "Pay attention to your body's signals. Observe your feelings each day, and eventually you will be able to take time for yourself before it becomes an angry demand. This will enable you to give of yourself appropriately, without resentment. Clear yourself. Find the child within you, heal her, and set her free. As long as the child in you weeps and cringes, your power as a mother will be confused."

Winter is hard on me. I'm so tired of being indoors. I'm tired of being cold. I'm tired of brown, barren trees. I need spring. I need to see a crocus. I need to be able to ride my bike again. I need to breathe fresh air. Thank God next week is March! Thank God we're going to California soon!