Sweaters

Earlier this evening, Lili'u and I were sitting on the livingroom floor. We had just come home and I still had my sweater on. She said, "Hey Mama, take your sweater off! We're inside now." I asked her if she could help me. So she unzipped my sweater, pulled it off by the sleeves, and dropped it in a pile next to me. She then proceeded to brush my arms, shoulders, and back with her hands as though dusting something off of me. She said, "I'm brushing the hotness off of you. Sweaters make lots of hotness on you."

Life with young children is noisy. Today was particularly so. My spirit felt cluttered and cranky. My apartment was messy and it took all afternoon and evening to bring any amount of order or calm to it. Now, with Lili'u in bed and Chris out, I have a moment of quiet to myself.

I'm reading The Tao of Motherhood by Vimala McClure. She writes, "Can you find the silence within the noise? Can you feel the peace within the turmoil? If not, withdraw. Make time to turn inward and digest your life."

Digest my life. That's what I need. (Deep breath.)

McClure goes on, "Pay attention to your body's signals. Observe your feelings each day, and eventually you will be able to take time for yourself before it becomes an angry demand. This will enable you to give of yourself appropriately, without resentment. Clear yourself. Find the child within you, heal her, and set her free. As long as the child in you weeps and cringes, your power as a mother will be confused."

Winter is hard on me. I'm so tired of being indoors. I'm tired of being cold. I'm tired of brown, barren trees. I need spring. I need to see a crocus. I need to be able to ride my bike again. I need to breathe fresh air. Thank God next week is March! Thank God we're going to California soon!

"Thanks for the glop."

I made curried coconut lentils last night for dinner. (Joel St. Julien's recipe - so good!) In the past it's been like a stew, but I cooked it a little longer this time and it ended up more like refried beans. Lili'u said our prayer for the meal: "Dear God, thank you for the glop!" Chris and I broke into laughter. We asked her where she'd heard the word "glop," and she reminded us that it's in a book we have called Alvie Eats Soup. She wasn't very keen on trying the glop - we convinced her to have one bite. But she ate lots of brown rice and steamed broccoli, so I'm not complaining.

Dancing Hula

Lili'u and I had some fun yesterday when we pulled out this little hula costume Aunt Julie bought for us in Hawaii a couple years ago. We missed cousin Maya and wished she was here to dance with us!

Maya Hayashida and Lili'u Hayashida-Knight
Hilo, Hawaii
December 2006

"Is God a boy?"

Lili'u is very curious about gender right now. If you've read our previous posts, you may have noticed it. She frequently tries to identify people, animals, and toys as boy or girl. What's great is that she doesn't seem to place any kind of value judgment with it. I think to her it's just a way of organizing the world. She does seem to be picking up on some cultural indicators of gender - like colors, hair length, clothing styles, etc. - but also seems very willing to break with such norms, which is something we encourage.

A few days ago, Lili'u and I were talking about how God takes care of us when we feel hurt or scared. She said "...it's because God loves me," to which I replied, "Yes, he does." She noticed my use of the pronoun 'he' and said, "Is God a boy?" In a split second, my mind raced through years of sunday school, college doctrine classes, and my own reading and experience and I said, "Well, God is a boy AND a girl. Sometimes I say 'he' and sometimes I say 'she.' She thought for a moment and then said, "Sometimes God's a boy! Sometimes God's a girl!" It was such an easy concept for her to embrace.

Then God said, "Let us make human beings in our image and likeness." ...In the image of God she created them. He created them male and female. Genesis 1:26-27

Tall on Words

Lili'u talks ALMOST constantly. Sometimes, especially when I'm driving, I don't always respond to her comments and questions quickly enough (for her liking). When this happens, she says in a teasing voice, "Mama, Silly Goo, why aren't you talking to me?" I usually try to explain that I'm concentrating on my driving so we can be safe. Once recently, I said that I just didn't really have anything to say. "That's probably hard for you to imagine since you're never short on words," I said. She thought about that and then replied, "Yeah, I'm TALL on words!"

Snow Day

This is Liliu's "snow girl" (our little feminist!). There was only a couple inches of snow so Chris had to use the snow shovel to bring snow from other parts of the yard for us to build her with. But this is a big improvement from our snowman (I mean, snow person) last year, which measured about 5 inches tall (below).

Praying with Lili'u

I like praying with Lili'u. I'm learning some great lessons from her on beautiful ways to pray.

A couple months ago, Chris and I were talking over breakfast about some friends (Shelah and Jade Acker) whose adopted son, Lino, was sick. Lili'u asked what we were talking about and I explained the situation. After thinking about it for a moment, she said, "I'll go get my doctor kit and make him feel better." So I said, "That's very sweet of you. Unfortunately, Lino is far away in Africa, but you know what we can do is pray for him." This was her prayer, "Dear Jesus, thank you for the way you're going to make that little boy better."

Often in her prayers, she does this stream of consciousness sort-of thing where she starts thanking God for anything and everything that comes to her mind, including whatever object happens to be right in front of her ("Thank you, God, for the salt and pepper!") Sometimes her prayers can get quite lengthy and Chris and I sometimes want to hurry her along, but the truth is, it's really beautiful to listen to her pray. I appreciate that she hasn't yet learned the "conventions" of prayer that I so often get hung up on. She just prays for whatever comes to her mind and heart, with any words she has.

Nothing is too trivial. Goofy voices are allowed. And when the words don't come out right, God still gets it.

If only I could pray so freely...

"That's a Car Dealership!"

No recent pictures. Our camera batteries must be getting old - they're not holding any charge anymore. So for now, just a little story...

Lili'u is absorbing new words and concepts so quickly these days and is always eager to put her new acquisitions to use. Her memory for words and their pronunciation is quite remarkable, though sometimes it takes her a little while to work out the precise context and meaning.

Lili'u and I were driving past some car dealerships recently and she was enjoying the multi-colored balloons - tied to the cars - bobbing about in the wind. She asked why the cars had balloons on them and I explained that car dealerships often use brightly colored balloons and flags to catch people's attention. A week or so later, Chris and Lili'u were walking through a parking lot. Lili'u spotted a car with a balloon attached to it and announced, "That's a car dealership!" Chris was a little bewildered.